Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Apologies
Just moved across the country and had no internet connection for about a week, so no updated statuses until today. I'm back up for business and looking forward to this new chapter in my life. Thanks for your patience and for checking in! :0)
b.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Information is not going to make us intelligent
Received this quote of J. Krishnamurti from the Krishnamurti Foundation today, and wanted to share....very moving. :0)
"It is obvious that radio music is a marvelous escape. Next door, they
kept the thing going all day long and far into the night. The father
went off to his office fairly early. The mother and daughter worked in
the house or in the garden; and when they worked in the garden the radio
blared louder. Apparently the son also enjoyed the music and the
commercials, for when he was at home the radio went on just the same. By
means of the radio one can listen endlessly to every kind of music,
from the classical to the very latest; one can hear mystery plays, news,
and all the things that are constantly being broadcast. There need be
no conversation, no exchange of thought, for the radio does almost
everything for you. The radio, they say, helps students to study; and
there is more milk if at milking time the cows have music. The odd part
about all this is that the radio seems to alter so little the course of
life. It may make some things a little more convenient; we may have
global news more quickly and hear murders described most vividly; but
information is not going to make us intelligent. The thin layer of
information about the horrors of atomic bombing, about international
alliances, research into chlorophyll, and so on, does not seem to make
any fundamental difference in our lives. We are as war-minded as ever,
we hate some other group of people, we despise this political leader and
support that, we are duped by organized religions, we are
nationalistic, and our miseries continue; and we are intent on escapes,
the more respectable and organized the better. To escape collectively is
the highest form of security. In facing what is, we can do something
about it; but to take flight from what is inevitably makes us stupid and
dull, slaves to sensation and confusion."
- Commentaries on Living Series I Chapter 27 The Radio and Music
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Love and Acceptance through the years...
Moving through the
sky, clouds whisking by, I’m attempting to grab hold of each one as I swiftly
fall, yet my hands pass right through.
No matter how solid they appear, how wide or long, I repeatedly
experience the same dreaded effect…fear, then sadness, then
disappointment. I look toward each
minuscule drop of moisture as if it were my sole provider of life, then
continue my descent only to search again and again for a solid, life-saving
connection.
As I approach the
side of a steep cliff I consider grabbing hold of it and hope a boulder might
jut out enough for a semi-safe landing.
I know I will likely be physically harmed if I find one, yet know that
if it is solid ground I may reach…I’m lucky. I begin to grasp the tips of roots and tree limbs protruding
out of the side of this magnificent precipice only to find them to be flimsy at
best, but I am encouraged as they are real. I wonder how they even exist up here so high with what looks
to be no sustenance. They wonder the same about me. They are weak and brittle. My hands are cut and I am bleeding.
As I fall further
the limbs begin to feel stronger, they are breaking as I grasp them but I can
tell I am coming nearer to a water source as they become more flexible,
healthy, and reliable. I am decelerating
now as the branches are supporting my weight, not fully, but enough to give me
a small bit of hope that I might reach a safe place and take a breath, a deep
peaceful breath, soon.
I see flat surfaces
below me along the side of the steep hillside and know that is where I must
go. Though beaten and bruised,
oozing and scarred, I prefer that reality to the empty, uncertain one, falling
forever and grasping for something non-existent, disregarding and
powerless. The earth may be harsh,
honest and even frightening at times but at least it exists…at least I can
touch it, feel it, smell it and know it is alive. And I see it approaching.
BAM! I’ve landed. I am hurt, broken in fact, but I feel the need to just sit
and breathe, loosen my tense muscles and bask in the knowledge that I am now
able to BEGIN. I know that sitting
still with my open lacerations infused with grime is not the wisest decision,
but I stop myself from worrying, knowing that just a few feet away, though I
must climb down to reach it, is a precious stream of water…water that will
expose my wounds and heal them, nurture my body, drench my thirst and cleanse
my soul. The water appears
turbulent at times and I must say it frightens me, but it is alive…it is
constant and it is available. Though it flows, it is tangible. I will learn to trust it. I will learn to ride its waves and
currents. I will savor in its stillness and find refuge within its
ever-changing yet steady existence, just as it will flow through, around and
over me as I change, and heal, and trust and accept. Mostly I will cherish it. My journey to find this treasure
was a long and agonizing one…though it whispers, “I was with you all along”.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
The election is soon to come, in just a few days in fact. I am appalled by the division amongst ourselves as a nation. Humans from all political parties are suffering in one way or another...whether we've lost out on the stock market, our business has gone bankrupt, we've lost our job, our benefits, our loved one in the war. We're having a tough time as a family and having divisions among us will not solve the problem. I'm not talking about having differing opinions...having different opinions on how people should run their lives are simply opinions. We can only take responsibility for ourselves in the way we choose to conduct our lives. Becoming part of a group, a gang, a political party makes us feel bigger, when in reality, our individuality - our authentic hearts, become smaller. Too many of us, in my humble opinion, rely too much on the opinions brought forth by our political party of choice and don't take the time to sit and thoroughly consider the issues - how they affect our families, our communities, our co-workers, our employers, our employees. My wish is for everyone to truly be honest with themselves when it comes to voting on this election.
Æsop. (Sixth century B.C.) Fables.
The Harvard Classics. 1909–14.
The Four Oxen and the Lion
United we stand, divided we fall.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Thanks goDaddy.com!!!!!!!! GoDaddy.com has saved the day and will be hosting our site, amorselofwisdom.com! I am incredibly grateful for their assistance and low hosting fees so that I can continue my passion of sharing knowledge and wisdom with you and the rest of the world. Look forward to updates but please be patient as I get up to speed with switching everything over. Yes, the design is different, but Change is goooood!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
An Apology
Hello all! I thank you all for participating with me in the joy of sharing wonderful Morsels of Wisdom since March 7th of 2006. Unfortunately, I will have to put the site on hiatus beginning September 2008. Until I find a better, economical and reliable hosting company, I will be gathering new quotes and ideas of topics to write about in the future. The company that has been hosting this site has been more than unreliable. On top of the poor hosting service, I found out that they had more than doubled the hosting fee without my permission. I don't make any money on the site, and for those of you who know me personally, you know I am embarking on a new career which demands a lot of financial sacrifice and unfortunately, I don't have the funds to continue hosting with this company. I will look into other options and may have one before September. Until then....
This site has been such a gift. I look forward to what the future has in store for amorselofwisdom.com.
b.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
I'm back in town so you can look forward to new daily thoughts for the day! Thanks for checking in.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I will be out of town and possibly internet free, which could be a curse and a blessing. Therefore, the thought for the day will most likely remain the same for the next 9 days.
I believe it is a good one, a quote from His Holiness the Dalai Lama, encouraging us to stop for a moment, look inside ourselves and find out the root of our suffering. Beyond that, he reminds us that everything is constantly changing, nothing remains the same..as our blood flows, and to appreciate that. We can tend to hold onto what is comfortable, even if it is painful, rather than taking a small risk toward freedom, ultimately leading to true love (of ourselves and others) and happiness.
So, I believe this quote is worthy of daily meditation. Enjoy.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008 I
find it amazing how quickly homesickness can set in even whilst having
a wonderful time. I've been working and traveling throughout New
Zealand and Australia since March and have experienced unprecedented
hospitality, delicious food, breathtaking sights and many firsts, yet
still experiencing a deep longing for home. Do
I miss the heavy traffic? The pretentious attitudes? The smog filled
air? The polluted waters? Not exactly. What I have been realizing
more and more each day is that the days I long for home the most are
the days I am not centered and living in the moment, experiencing the
NOW. Yesterday
I went for a drive in Australia's outback with the intention of living
completely in the moment. I admit, there were times it was a fight, but
when I decided to not fight yet find complete and utter solace in the
scenery, wildlife and sensory triggers, I felt completely at peace and
filled with gratitude. That is when I realized that I find homesickess
for me is another word for "ungrateful". When
you aren't living in the moment and thinking or obsessing on the next,
you are showing an ingratitude for what is happening right now. When
you are spending time with a friend yet obsessing on the thought of
your next appointment, it is impossible to show complete gratitude.
I've found that when I have done just that, focusing on what will
happen next, I end my day empty, not feeling the fulfillment I would
have if I had been present in each moment in the day. I
have a few days left in Australia and another in New Zealand. I WILL
be present in each moment and say good-bye to homesickness,
experiencing and sharing the full gratitude I possibly can with myself
and others in my presence.
Thursday, December 6, 2007 ...by
Dr. Bob Morehead.
Friday, November 23, 2007 "Our
species is the only creative species, and it has only one creative
instrument, the individual mind and spirit of a man (and woman).
Nothing was ever created by two men. There are no good collaborations,
whether in music, in art, in poetry, in mathematics, in philosophy.
Once the miracle of creation has taken place, the group can build and
extend it, but the group never invents anything. The preciousness lies
in the lonely mind of a man. And now the forces marshaled around the
concept of the group have declared a war of extermination on that
preciousness, the mind of man. By disparagement, by starvation, by
repressions, forced direction, and the stunning hammerblows of
conditioning, the free, roving mind is being pursued, roped, blunted,
drugged. It is a sad suicidal course our species seems to have taken. And
this I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human
is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for:
the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected.
And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which
limits or destroys the individual. This is what I am and what I am
about. I can understand why a system built on a pattern must try to
destroy the free mind, for that is the one thing which can by
inspection destroy such a system. Surely I can understand this, and I
hate it and I will fight against it to preserve the one thing that
separates us from the uncreative beasts. If the glory can be killed, we
are lost." - John Steinbeck, East of Eden
Tuesday, October 23, 2007 Hello
all. I apologize for not posting new thoughts for the day as of
recently. My neighborhood has been off-limits for me since I was
evacuated at 5:10AM Sunday morning due to the a major fire being
started on the hill behind my house in Malibu. The 'Castle Kashan'
that burned to the ground was above my house to the south. The Malibu
Presbyterian Church was basically across the road to the North, and the
house 3 doors down burned to the ground. I have not been able to reach
any of my neighbors, nor have I been able to get information as to the
condition of my house. My
Great Dane and I are safe and sound thanks to the love of some very
good people. As soon as I am able to get the proper amount of
internet access (I am currently at an internet cafe), I will begin
posting new thoughts for the day as per usual. Peace and love. My thoughts go out to all of the folks being affected
by these fires.
Friday, October 19, 2007 Did you know that if everyone in the United States used energy
efficient lighting, we could retire 90 average-sized power plants? It's true. Ambience
has always been very important to me, and a lot of that comes from
lighting, whether it be special bulbs, covered lamps or candles. You
can imagine how hesitant I was to change all of the bulbs in my home to
compact fluorescents. Well, since I made the switch, many companies
have caught on and have created many different types of lighting with
these little energy savers. Compact
fluorescent light bulbs use between 20% and 25% less electricity, and
last 6 to 10 times longer than a regular filament bulb. They are
initially a little more expensive, but you save money in the long run.
If you pay $.08 per kilowatt-hour for your electricity, a CFL can save
you $45 over the lifetime of the light bulb!!!!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007 On
certain days of the week, outside of my office, a homeless man sits
down on a plastic crate reading his newspaper, right next to his
shopping cart filled with who knows what - but it is filled. For
months I've noticed him there yet never had the courage to look into
his eyes for fear he may start a conversation with me or ask for
something. I have considered crossing the street to avoid being close
to him, fearing the smell of his dirty clothes might cause me to gag. A
few weeks ago I had my darling Great Dane with me, who I decided to
take for a walk, while I grabbed a bite to eat at the Mexican food
joint next door. We walk out and there he is...the homeless man. "Great!"
I sarcastically thought. "I hope he knows she'll attack at the snap of
a finger!" I grab her leash and attempt to briskly walk past him,
shoulders back, head up high as if to give off a "don't mess with me
today" energy, only to be asked, "Is that a Boston Mantle"? "What?!!!!!"
I thought. I couldn't believe it. No one in the time I have owned
this dog has anyone (breeders included) ever asked me that question.
Surely I knew that my dog with her black and white coat was called a
Boston Mantle, but I was shocked to know this man knew that info. I
stood as far away from him as I could, but was intrigued by his
knowledge and responded, a little coldly, however warming up a bit to
him. "Yes, actually. She is a Mantle. No one has ever asked me that
before!" "Oh,
I used to own danes. In fact I had two of them that I inherited after
training them for movies. I trained one of them to have a monkey ride
on his back." Then he went on with a few more stories that were
absolutely believable, as I could recall some of the movies he
mentioned. He also spoke on his passion for recycling, which of course
was music to my ears! Very
articulate and intelligent this man was, and I stepped closer to find
no pungent odor coming from his clothes. We spoke for about 20 minutes
about life and I was so glad I opened up to do that. Boy, did I eat
humble pie. Who am I to judge this man and to assume that he would be
offensive or want anything from me? Who knows why he is homeless?
Maybe he chooses to live that way. Well,
now when I see him, we always chat a bit as I walk past. We shared a
lunch on Tuesday. I look forward to seeing him because there is
something so real, so true about him that I wish I could climb inside
his head and have a review of his life and see how he landed where he
is today. He just has this very calm, zen-like quality that permeates
his being, something I would have noticed long before had I not allowed
my ignorant prejudices to get in the way prior to our first
conversation. That energy that he possesses is what I long to exude.
He's like the grandpa that you see sitting on a porch, smiling at the
people as they walk by with a grin that says there is so much more
about life than what we know so far. So,
don't judge a book by its cover? Don't pass judgement? Ya, I've
learned a major life lesson. To embrace all of humanity means "ALL" of
humanity, not just the pretty ones, not just the convenient ones, not
just the....
Saturday, October 6, 2007 Layers of an onion, Layers of an onion, Layers of an onion, Layers of an onion, Layers of an onion, Layers of an onion, Layers of an onion, Though
layers of an onion, bn
Tuesday, October 2, 2007 Find
the courage to ask for what you want. Others have the right to tell
you yes or no, but you always have the right to ask. Likewise,
everybody has the right to ask you for what they want, and you have the
right to say no. ~Don Miguel Ruiz ... I
have spent much of my 30 odd year life avoiding happiness. Sounds
harsh? Yes. I say that because I now see that all the times I was
convinced I was being 'polite', all the times I was avoiding the pain
of 'possible' rejection, all the times I was avoiding confrontation or
avoiding facing my own fears and insecurities were all pretty little
masks to hide behind whilst avoiding true happiness from within. Happiness
to me is security, honesty, authenticity, and right NOW. In the
past, rather than just being upfront and asking someone for what I
wanted, I would wait...wait for the 'right time', for just the 'right
moment'...which would never come, by the way. The question or request I
had would swirl about frantically in my heart and mind, quickly
becoming a snowball of 'what ifs', 'oh sh!ts' and 'no way, Jose's'.
Doubt would build like a New York skyscraper, looking down upon any
glimpse of hope I may have had about...borrowing that stapler. Yes.
Silly, right? But who is to judge which question or request is more
reasonable, fair...'good enough'? It is only in our silly little
minds, really. Are we (as evolved human beings, adults for that
matter) THAT afraid of the worst that could happen....the word "NO"?
The Universe in which we reside is an abundant one with more than
enough to go around. Every sparrow eats and has a home. Funny thing
about sparrows is you don't see them hesitating when it comes to food
or shelter...those little buggers will nearly pick a string right off
of your back during nesting time! So why should we hesitate when it
comes to asking for a raise (the money is there), asking someone out
for a cup o' coffee (what do you have to lose?), or asking someone how
they feel about you as a husband, wife, friend, sibling, or co-worker
(the truth will set you free!)? I have found in the moment (or moments)
of hesitation that fear, insecurity, dis-honesty with self and an
unhealthy focus on the past and future begin to do what they
collectively do best: destroy hope and happiness. What
a relief it is to now say it,
just SAY it...or ask it, or request it ever so kindly - right there in
the moment. No more waiting, no more endless hoping, no more
irrational insecurities, no more games, no more regrets. If the worst
that can happen is a 'no', bring it on! Time to quickly move on...NEXT!
Monday, September 24, 2007 Hesitation, procrastination, anticipation, stimulation. Let it be. Excitement, amusement, enthrallment, fulfillment. Let it be. Wishing, hoping, dreaming, waiting. Let it be. Live. Give. Trust. Begin. Let it be.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007 Sunday, August 19, 2007 Good
day friends. For those of us who have been following the life of Miles
Levin, the young cancer patient who has touched millions of lives with
his positive outlook and inspirational blogs, today's update is a sad
one. If you hadn't had the chance to read Miles' blogs, I encourage
you to do so at www.carepages.com, page title "Levinstory". Let
this be a reminder that life is fleeting, enjoy it while you can and
LOVE with all of your heart, mind and soul.
.... August 19, 2007 at 12:35 PM EDT
Sunday, August 12, 2007 What
do you think of when you hear the word 'recreation'? A softball game
in the park? A pic-nic in the shade? A game of golf? A bar-b-que in
your own backyard? Maybe a day of sailing on the ocean? I've always
tended to think of recreation as a form of escape from everyday life, a
form of enjoyment that is polar opposite my usual work day. I saw the word 'recreation' in a quote by Robert Owen, and for the first time the word stood out to
me as 're+creation'. I then looked up the word in the dictionary and found the following: Friday, August 10, 2007 As
many of you know, I've been following the life of an inspirational
young fellow named Miles Levin who has decided to share with us all,
through blogs, his fight and peace with cancer. Following is an
interview, titled as final, that is really eye opening. I encourage
you to read more of his blogs, if you haven't already, at www.carepages.com, page name: levinstory. A reminder to consider LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. .... A FINAL INTERVIEW WITH MILES
Sunday, July 29, 2007 Ever
wonder how safe herbicides are for the environment? Too much
fertilizer, insecticide, herbicide and fungicide on crops definitely do
damage, especially to water resources. Even in our own backyard we do
damage by spraying weed killing herbicides, exposing those nasty,
poisonous chemicals to our pets and children. We have a choice! Trash
those herbicides and use heat instead. Boil water and pour it over the
weeds. They will almost immediately darken and turn brown within a few
hours, much like the effect of a store bought weed killer. No toxic
residue. No hospital or vet bills. No weeds. A happy environment.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007 Monday, July 16, 2007 We must look at our life without sentimentality,
exaggeration or idealism. Does
what we are choosing reflect what we most deeply value? -Jack Kornfield ... I
had to ask myself after reading this quote whether or not the choices I
make reflect that in which I value most, which lead me to the question
of "What do I value most?" Peace.
Unconditional love. Honesty. Time. Relaxation. Hugs. Kisses. Family.
Health. Fun. Ice Cream. Cake. Laughter. Flowers. Wildlife. Clouds. Nice
weather. Water. Clean air. My dog. Holding hands. The smell of the
ocean. True friendship. Loyalty. Tears. Words. Children. Books.
Photographs. Fruit. Assurance. Reassurance. Travel. Culture. Good
food. Commitment. Honor. Road trips. Breakfast. Respect. Memories.
Play. Learning. Building. Quality time. Safety. Adventure. Serenity.
Wisdom. Well,
there is a start! It amazes me how easy it is to allow chaotic
distractions to take away from what I value most in life. If I chose
to put first the things I've listed above, whether it be actions I need
to take or things I need to manifest, I know that I would feel
fulfilled. Therefore my choices to put that which I value first would
enable me to further give to others unconditionally, whether it be a
job, a friendship, a romantic interest/relationship or writing project.
I
believe that if we want to be happy and fulfilled people, we need to
check our priorities. We need to not make things out to be bigger and
better than what they are or worse off than they are, but just see
things/relationships/jobs/projects for exactly what they are, in that
moment. And then, we can see to it that what we value comes first, not
allowing status or fantasy or judgments or outside opinions to cause us
to waiver in our focus, true happiness and fulfillment. When we are
truly happy, others are truly happy. It's contagious.
Sunday, July 8, 2007 Wednesday, June 27, 2007 For those who have read Miles Levin's blog which I posted on this site in May, following is an update.
If you're interested in reading more from him, check out his personal blog at www.carepages.com, page title: "LevinStory" The
following is another reminder of how life, health, and love are to be
cherished rather than taken for granted. No matter the cards we have
been dealt, it is up to us to decide how we will play the game.
June
26, 2007 at 02:08 PM EDT Thank you for the fascinating, varied, and heartwarming
responses. (If you didn't read yesterday's
entry yet, I would advise doing that.) Wednesday, June 20, 2007 Dwell
not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind.
Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with
an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed. -Eileen Caddy ... Bad
decisions, negative reactions, an addictive personality, and fulfilling
ego all can lead to guilt, remorse, bad health and depression. Rather
than stepping out with a fresh, positive outlook, it is easy for us to
feel trapped, as if we are carrying a bag of wet sand and a millstone
tied around our necks and hearts. Just
like it takes the use of more muscles to frown than to smile, it is a
lot more work for us to hold on to guilt and the like, than to just let
go and move on. Sometimes a bad decision we have made involves another
person and rather than simply apologizing and hoping the other person
will understand, we will hang on to the bad feelings which then turn to
regret, which then turn to resentment, which then turn to unhappiness
all around. Choose freedom! Apologize to those
you need to, quickly clean
up the mess you've made, leave behind the burdens and live peacefully,
freely and happily, NOW. Life begins now, each moment, and it is up to
each one of us to decide how we will live it. We cannot create a peaceful environment without when
we are at war within.
Monday, June 4, 2007 It
is easy for us 'Westerners' to look at some other countries as
impoverished, as what is given high value in our society is usually of
the material theme. What I see in the portion of the world in which I inhabit, is a different
brand of poverty. A poverty that is defined by a lack of community. I
could see the decline of community happen in the neighborhood I grew up
in as a child. I can recall being a very young child, knowing all of
the names of my neighbors. My grandmother took care of my brother and
I while my mother (young and single) worked, which luckily eliminated
the need for a babysitter. She would stand outside in the yard with
her cup of coffee chatting away with neighbors from up and down the
street. 'Trick or Treating' was never an issue. We didn't worry about
the candy being poisoned or child abductions or the like. That fear
came later. We
moved, others moved in and out of the neighborhood, and our neighbors
no longer had names. They became "that weird guy across the street",
or "that loud woman next door". As
a young teenager, I began to worry about being liked. We didn't have a
lot of money, therefore my mother couldn't afford to buy me the
'coolest' clothes, or even acceptable clothes for that matter. At that
time, it was a very big deal. I just couldn't 'fit in'. Consumerism
began to take its toll, manifesting itself in painful insecurities in
some and blatant flaunting of material objects in others, creating a
caustic division. As
an adult, I admit that I have moved around a lot. In that, I also have
to admit that I have lived next door to people for years, never even
introducing myself to them. I have taken my dog to a dog park and have
seen the same folks over and over, and have yet never considered saying
hello. And yet I crave that communal experience I once had as a
little girl. This has got to change. I
read the following quote, and though I feel I have intellectually
agreed with the message, I realize the information didn't really affect
me until tonight. It really sheds a light on what we place our values
on as a society, and how consumerism is really a disease (dis-ease)
that needs to be dealt with from the inside out, from within ourselves,
passed on to our children and future generations. ... When you don't have community, you
are not listened to. You
don't have a place you can go to and feel that you really belong. You don't have people to affirm who you are and to support you in
bringing forward your gifts. This disempowers the psyche, making you vulnerable to consumerism and all the things that come along with
it. -
Sobonfu Somé ...
Sunday, June 3, 2007 If we could read the secret history
of our enemies, we
would find in each man's life a sorrow and a suffering enough to disarm all hostility. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. - Mahatma Gandhi ... Wednesday, May 30, 2007 To see a World in a Grain of Sand, And Heaven in a Wild Flower, Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And Eternity
in an hour. -William
Blake I
can remember quite vividly life as a four year old little girl, walking
slowly into my grandmother's kitchen and focusing my eyes on the small
details of a cabinet knob for the first time. Not that I had never
seen this particular knob, it had been there long before I was born,
but I had never been truly aware of it prior to that moment. I was
intrigued by the design - the metal strips were woven together,
basket-like, forming the shape of a circle, surrounding a capitulum of
sorts, as in the middle of a daisy. I stared in awe, not only in
seeing the intricacies for the first time, but in feeling awareness in
my soul. To
capture the pure essence of that childlike view is something I strive
for on a daily basis. It is so easy to go about the day without
noticing beauty and newness, passing the plants in the office hurriedly
attempting to check email, blocking out the sounds of birds chirping
with restless thoughts, walking the dog without noticing the spring
flowers that are blooming all around. When we take a closer look at
the wonders all around us NOW, we begin to feel the muse that inspires
poets. It's all right here and it's up to us to always be keenly aware. So
today, when I slice an apple, I will examine it as if I had just
removed blinders and take in the crispness, the fragrance and the
taste. When I wash the dishes tonight, I will watch the beautiful,
opalescent film move about each bubble, reflecting light into my eyes.
I encourage you to join me. By magnifying details, we gain perspective. Sunday, May 20, 2007 In
your veins, and in mine, there is only one blood, The same life that
animates us all! Since one unique mother begat us all, Where did we
learn to divide ourselves? - Kabir When
you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim, or a Christian, or a European,
or anything else,you are being violent. Do you see why? Because you
are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate
yourself by belief, by nationality, by tradition it breeds violence. -Krishnamurti Have
you ever been aware of how often we tend to identify ourselves by our
religions, talents or race, thereby dividing ourselves from the rest of
mankind? "I
am a Christian", "I am a Buddhist", "I am an artist", "I am a
producer", "I am an actor", "I am an author", "I am a bank teller", "I
am a janitor", "I am African American", "I am Caucasian", "I am a
Pacific Islander"...these are all statements I've heard stated my
entire life. If you were to break down each of those statements, you
would see the that they are dividing us from each other - from
mankind. For example, in the statement "I am a bank teller"..are all
'bank tellers' the same? I go in to the bank about once a week and I
know for sure each 'teller' I come into contact with has different
facial features, a different accent, a different hairstyle, a different
attitude. Labels are created specifically to divide, to organize.
Labels give an opportunity for ignorant people to make blanket
statements such as "bank tellers are uptight". You get the picture. So,
why give an opportunity to put a label on yourself by saying "I am
a...", when really you are just human. We must keep in mind, in our
movement for peace, in our work toward equality, to identify ourselves
by what we truly are, not by what we do, or by what race was passed on
to us, or by what religious philosophies we choose to believe. "I
play soccer", "I enjoy surfing", "I work as an accountant", "my parents
are from China"...each statement allows the other to see beyond the
labels, to look inside and love you for the brother or sister you are. Thursday, May 17, 2007 Tuesday, May 15, 2007 A
very special person sent the following blog to me in an email. It made
such an impact that I will share it with you as well. Another powerful
message that shows us the importance of NEVER taking life, love or our
health for granted. .... From CNN.com... Wednesday, May 09, 2007 Editor's note: The following post is written by Miles Levin, a young cancer patient profiled
on tonight's "360." Miles' personal blog can be read at www.carepages.com, page name "LevinStory." Click here to read a CNN profile of Miles
Sunday, April 29, 2007 Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source strength
noun power to rise or remain firm in prices: Stocks continued to show strength. The
pound declined in strength. .... When
I think of the word strength, my mind tends to picture a construction
worker lifting a heavy piece of equipment, a person in a business suit
displaying an air of confidence, a single mother raising multiple
children on her own. Strength
is defined in many ways and can easily be mistaken for weakness in
simple minded men. Throughout history, the most highly esteemed human
beings are those who were honest despite persecution, were forgiving
though wrongfully imprisoned, found truth by laying prostrate on the
ground in tears, and loved unceasingly. Tonight
I wept. I wept hard. I asked God what lesson he is trying to teach
me. I told him that I want to learn. And for one moment, as I wearily
canoed through my puddle of tears, I thought myself weak. And
then it came to me: The fact that I can feel is strength. The fact
that I can cry is strength. The fact that I am vulnerable is strength.
The fact that I have faith is strength. The fact that I am honest is
strength. The fact that I am authentic is strength. The fact that I
can laugh at myself is strength. The fact that I can forgive is
strength. The fact that I love deeply is strength. The fact that I am
Aware is strength. So,
I gave a harsh rebuke to the thought that made me consider myself
anything but strong and powerful. I remembered a biblical scripture,
where Paul was discussing the thorn in his side...and weakness: 2
Corinthians 12: 9 part. & 10 part.: But he said to me, "My grace
is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses...For when
I am weak, then I am strong. I finally got it. The
harsh realities of life often leave us feeling listless, unable to feel
or express true, gut emotion. I am grateful to my strength for keeping
me 'in touch'. I am grateful to my strength for teaching me life
lessons through brief moments of anguish. Like a child touching a hot
stove for the first time, you might not learn if it doesn't hurt. bn Thursday, April 26, 2007 If
you haven't already had the opportunity, I encourage everyone to watch
the documentary titled "Invisible Children". Following is the
description on the DVD case: CAN A STORY CHANGE THE WORLD? In
the spring of 2003, three young Americans traveled to Africa in search
of such a story. What they found was a tragedy that disgusted and
inspired them. A story where children are the weapons, and children
are the victims. The "Invisible Children: rough cut" film exposes the
effects of a 20 year-long war on the children of Northern Uganda.
These children live in fear of abduction by rebel soldiers, and are
being forced to fight as part of a violent army. This wonderfully
reckless documentary is fast paced, with an MTV beat, and is something
truly unique. To see Africa through young eyes is humorous and heart
breaking, quick and informative - all in the very same breath. See this film, you will forever be changed. .... I
watched this film this evening and couldn't hold back my tears. Not
only did it make me want to do something to help (and find out what I
can do...any means possible), it also was a quick heart and reality
check. I am so lucky. Do I fear that rebels are going to come and
take over my neighborhood, shooting and killing and raping my
neighbors? No. Do I fear that the kids across the street are going to
be forced to carry AK-47s? No. What do I fear? How about being in an
awkward social situation, saying the wrong thing or not saying anything
at all when my mind is running a mile a minute with a million things to
say? Funny how those petty fears go right out the window when you get
a blunt, clear perspective on reality. I agree. This film has
changed my life. What about yours? Check
out www.invisiblechildren.com Wednesday, April 18, 2007 (From www.nesea.org) WHAT YOU CAN DO TO SAVE MONEY AND LIVE GREEN! Sunday, April 15, 2007 I found this quote on a card while browsing a gift shop today
and loved it so much, I felt the need to share it. Enjoy! ... Be
glad of life, because it gives you the chance to love and to work and
to play and to look up at the stars; to be satisfied with your
possessions; to despise nothing in the world except falsehood and
meanness, and to fear nothing except cowardice; to be governed by your
admirations rather than by your disgusts; to covet nothing that is your
neighbor's except his kindness of heart and gentleness of manners; to
think seldom of your enemies, often of your friends...and to spend as
much time as you can, with body and with spirit. These are little
guideposts on the footpath to peace. - Henry Van Dyke Thursday, April 12, 2007 Isn't
'love' the sum of all good? Isn't 'love' the foundation for all
religious doctrines? Isn't 'love' the ultimate goal? Then why is it we
push it away? .... Love
is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is
not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always
hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a) .... I
have just spent a day at work, making phone calls to people that could
care less about me other than getting a purchase order number, a
meeting scheduled, or an answer about some useless information. When
those things are accomplished, the relationship is finished. I spent
30 minutes going through mail, 3 envelopes of which were junk mail..a
waste of time to open in the first place, one envelope which contained
my tax information...I rejoiced, had a happy thought about the amount
of money my accountant was able to get me as a refund, but sadly, I
won't think of her again until next year. Who knows how much time I
spent today fretting about my dating life..."Is he interested, is he
not?" and "Should I say yes to this date or not?"...when if there's a
question, should I spend any time thinking of it at all? Ridiculous. How
many times this week did I think about returning an email from my
little cousin (who loves me unconditionally), but decided to put it off
another day? How many times have I thought about returning the call to
that old friend (who has known me since I was 3, and STILL loves me),
yet have allowed work to consume my time? How many times has my phone
rang and I've rolled my eyes because, God forbid, someone was thinking
about me and wanted to say hello? How many times have I received date
invitations from men who are genuinely interested in me as a person,
but I turned them down (because I had better things to do...or someone
to chase who wasn't at all interested in me)? How many times have I
not wanted to be bothered by my dog who approaches me with a toy when I
come home from work, just wanting to spend time with me (because she
loves me unconditionally)? How many times have I cried out to the
Universe to put loving people in my life and ignored or even rejected
the ones who were already there? Do
you see the ingredients of love mentioned above? Who in their right
mind wouldn't want that? And yet I, in my ignorance, have decided at
times to reject those who have been perfectly willing and able to show
me love, as described above. I don't understand it. I don't understand
the need to want to push love away. I don't understand that, though
love is the ultimate goal, I can choose to fill my time with useless
things and selfish people. I choose TODAY to dig my heels into this
issue and decide to love, once and for all. Awareness is always a good
start. Wednesday, April 11, 2007 Tao te Ching - 76 Men are born soft and supple; dead, they are stiff and hard. Plants
are born tender and pliant; dead, they are brittle
and dry. Thus whoever is stiff and inflexible is a disciple of death. Whoever is
soft and yielding is a disciple of life. The
hard and stiff will be broken. The soft and supple
will prevail. (From the Tao te Ching - New English Version by Stephen Mitchell) Tuesday, April 10, 2007 To
the tree that shades my car. To the flowers that bloom on the tree
that shades my car. To the pink on the flowers that bloom on the tree
that shades my car. To the bees that transfer pollen from the anther
to the stigma of the pink flowers that bloom on the tree that shades my
car. To the night moon that shines through the leaves and the flowers
that were pink in the day, black at night, resting up for another day
of simple, miraculous magnificence and providing much appreciated shade
for my car, I show my gratitude.
Sunday, April 8, 2007 How
dare I not make a difference in my community, when my freedom to vote
has been paid for? How dare I not speak my mind, when my freedom of
speech has been paid for? How dare I not make full use of my
intelligence, when my freedom to acquire an education has been paid
for? How dare I not surround my heart with people of many cultures,
when my freedom to integrate has been paid for? How dare I not hold my
head high in full confidence, when my freedom to live has been paid for? Choose freedom...it's already been paid for. Tuesday, April 3, 2007 "While you are upon earth, enjoy
the good things that are here." -John Selden ... Where are the 'good things'? EVERYWHERE!
When was the last time you drove in to work and paid attention to the
'good things' you pass? I am lucky enough to live in a place where my
drive in to work includes a view of the ocean and a gorgeous canyon
filled with trees, rock formations and various wildlife. You'd be
surprised at how often my mind is solely focused on making it there on
time, listening to the traffic report, and thinking about what stresses
my day will bring. It's no wonder by the time I get to the office my
shoulders are stuck to my ears! It's the days that I say "wow" when I
pass deer feeding on the hill above my home, "wow" at the clear view of
the aqua-blue ocean, and "wow" to the clouds rising up through the
canyon, that I arrive at work with a genuine smile on my face and a
heart ready to take on the world. Where ever you are, don't forget to take the time to notice the 'good
things', to acknowledge the 'good things', to say "wow".
Tuesday, March 27, 2007 Monday, March 26, 2007 Sunday, March 25, 2007 Again,
I was drawn to a favorite book of mine, a staple of sorts, titled "The
War of Art", by Steven Pressfield. The particular chapter I landed
upon was one focused on fear, and mainly the worst fear of all, the
fear of success. ... Resistance feeds on fear. We experience
Resistance as fear. But fear of what? Fear
of the consequences of following our heart. Fear of bankruptcy, fear
of poverty, fear of insolvency. Fear of groveling when we try to make
it on our own, and of groveling when we give up and come crawling back
to where we started. Fear of being selfish, of being rotten wives or
disloyal husbands; fear of failing to support our families, of
sacrificing their dreams for ours. Fear of betraying our race, our
'hood, our homies. Fear of failure. Fear of being ridiculous. Fear
of throwing away the education, the training, the preparation that
those we love have sacrificed so much for, that we ourselves have
worked our butts off for. Fear of launching into the void, of hurtling
too far out there; fear of passing some point of no return, beyond
which we cannot recant, cannot reverse, cannot rescind, but must live
with this cocked-up choice for the rest of our lives. Fear of
madness. Fear of insanity. Fear of death. These
are serious fears. But they're not the real fear. Not the Master
Fear, the Mother of all Fears that's so close to us that even when we
verbalize it we don't believe it. Fear That We Will Succeed. (Excerpt from The War of Art by Steven Pressfield) ... I
sat here with a list of things to do today....not just the laundry,
walk the dog, pick up such and such at the grocery store, but bigger
things...things that would help me get closer to my dreams, things that
would help me to feel accomplished, such as writing a small
autobiography to submit to my book publisher. How hard could that be?
I know myself and my history better than anyone I know...it doesn't
take years of study or hard labor to type that out. Resistance had set
in, and I could have gone outside and hand picked every weed out of my
front lawn late into the night rather than sit for 10 minutes to write
out my little bio. Isn't it amazing what power we give to fear and
resistance? The silent excuses we give ourselves of why we don't
follow through with a particular task (that means SO much to our core
being), have got to stop. Happiness, fulfillment, and great success
are just around the corner, if we'd just take back our own personal
power and stare fear right in the face. Monday, March 19, 2007 "Ask
how you can serve the community rather than asking how the community
can serve you. When you use your calling to make a difference in the
community, opportunities to create abundance will emerge in your life." -Tavis Smiley ... I
was given the opportunity today to watch a 3 minute promotional video
for a non-profit organization called "The Art of Elysium" (Elysium
meaning a place or condition of ideal happiness). I had to use every
bit of strength I had to not weep. Why would I cry? I felt for the
children in the video that were to live out their lives in hospitals,
that had been severely burned, that had special needs. I also realized
that my thoughts of "I should volunteer more of my time" were suddenly
challenged, and that it was time to do just that. Committing
to 4 hours per month of service is nothing compared to the time I
commit to aimless internet searches and seeing the same re-run of Law
and Order for the 5th time in a row. I am grateful for this
opportunity. Some
of us don't have the time to commit to volunteering, don't have the
money to donate, or have no idea where to begin. I encourage you to
look into charities that interest you. Sometimes they are in need of
office supplies that you may have laying around the house, or an hour
of your time to write thank you cards. Not only is it helping those in
need, it is helping you to feel good about doing good, as well as
creating a sense of community that is severely lacking in this day and
age. For info on The Art of Elysium, go to www.theartofelysium.org. Thursday, March 15, 2007 Since
when does one not have the time to peer out a window for a moment to
enjoy the birds, trees and sky? Since when does one not have the time
to make a 5 minute phone call to check in on a loved one? Since when
does one not have the time while in traffic to let a person move in
front of them? Since when does one not have the time to look up and
say hello to the mail person, the grocery store cashier, the barista,
the neighbor? Since when does one not have the time to put on a coat,
step out into the night and admire the stars? Since when does one not
have the time to engage in pure and utter silliness with their favorite
child? Since when does one not have the time to enjoy a simple cup of
tea while reflecting on the good things in life? You tell me. Wednesday, March 14, 2007 Another excerpt from one of my favorite books,
"The War of Art", by Steven Pressfield. Resistance and Criticism (page
38) If
you find yourself criticizing other people, you're probably doing it
out of Resistance. When we see others beginning to live their
authentic selves, it drives us crazy if we have not lived our own. Individuals
who are realized in their own lives almost never criticize others. If
they speak at all, it is to offer encouragement. Watch yourself. Of
all the manifestations of Resistance, most only harm ourselves.
Criticism and cruelty harm others as well. ............ I
found myself criticizing someone harshly today, not only in my mind,
but out loud. My 'complaint' was that he has a tendency to find
something negative in everything. I compared him to the "Debbie
Downer" character on Saturday Night Live played by Rachel Dratch,
referring to something he had said following it with the "wuaaaa
wuaaaaaa" sound. Boy did I think I was a hoot! Then I sat down and it
hit me. I can see that tendency in myself, yet it is magnified 10x in
him (in my mind). I despise that about myself, that I can go to that
place of seeing the negative side of things. So I sat back and thought
about him, thought about the fact that I have NO IDEA what is going on
in his life right now, NO IDEA what his journey has been about. This
has really helped me to 'check myself'. I made a commitment to be
conscious of my negative thoughts and to change them to positives
whenever I am aware of them creeping up. We are each on our own
journey and really have no place to criticize others. Nobody enjoys being criticized. Tuesday, March 13, 2007 Did
you know that a single tree has the ability to absorb approximately one
ton of carbon dioxide during its lifetime? It is true! Trees absorb
carbon dioxide and give oxygen. With the increase in carbon dioxide
by automobile traffic, manufacturing and other human activities, it is
important that we do whatever it takes to counteract the negative
effects these things have on our environment. So, if you
have the means to plant a tree, start digging. If
you do not have the time nor the space to plant a tree, look into a
service, such as www.americanforests.org, that will plant the tree for
you and send a certificate as a gift or remembrance. Look into your
local government office as they often have tree planting programs,
providing trees that thrive on your local environmental conditions and
climate. Monday, March 12, 2007 Look
for the character and authenticity of beauty. The Japanese believe
beauty should have a flaw to be alive. Excellence is never perfect; it
is merely excellent. (An excerpt from 'Grace Notes' by Alexandra
Stoddard). What
is the 'authenticity of beauty'? Is beauty really in the eye of the
beholder or is it a universal quality that triggers our hearts and
minds to respond in the same manner? It is important for us all to
meditate on how we, as individuals, define beauty and on whether or not
it is at all authentic. Is our idea of beauty based on the media or
ego charged? Think about that. Sunday, March 11, 2007 Successful
solutions are based on the powerful principle that resolution occurs by
fostering the positive, not by attacking the negative. Recovery from
alcoholism can't be accomplished by fighting intoxication, but, rather,
only by choosing sobriety. The "war to end all wars" did no such
thing, nor could it possibly have done so. Wars - including wars on
"vice", "drugs," or any of the human needs regularly traded for in the
great hidden social marketplace that underlies conventional commerce -
can only be won by choosing peace.
(Excerpt from Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.) Think about it. Saturday, March 10, 2007 In
order to overcome selfishness, it is necessary to be daring. It is as
though you were dressed in your swimsuit, standing on the diving board
with a pool in front of you, and you ask yourself: "Now what?" The
obvious answer is: "Jump." That is daring. You might wonder if you will
sink or hurt yourself if you jump. You might. There is no insurance,
but it is worthwhile jumping to find out what will happen. The student
warrior has to jump. We are so accustomed to accepting what is bad for
us and rejecting what is good for us. We are attracted to our cocoons,
our selfishness, and we are afraid of selflessness, stepping beyond
ourselves. So in order to overcome our hesitation about giving up our
privacy, and in order to commit ourselves to others' welfare, some kind
of leap is necessary. Friday, March 9, 2007 Life is too short
to be anything but. I will check
in with myself often to be sure I am being genuine in the moment. Thursday, March 8, 2007 Wednesday, March 7, 2007 I
live in California. Here, though lovely, I don't experience the wonder
of the seasons. I lived in Virginia the first part of this year and
saw the plant life turn from winter to early summer. I was amazed. When
I arrived, there was not a leaf on a tree, not a flower in sight. Only
tiny patches of snow here and there and a few tufts of brown grass. In
a matter of weeks, the trees were covered in leaves and blossoms,
wildflowers sprouted up around the river, everything was green. I had
to pinch myself. Though I traveled to Virginia to work, I took that
opportunity to make a lot of changes in my life. Like a gardener, I
weeded out the things that were not helping me to grow. Certain
relationships, eating habits, financial patterns, and time management
were all placed at new levels on my priority list. Some didn't even
make it onto that list...and I felt great. While experiencing this
new found freedom, I was able to take a step back and relate to the
plant life changing around me. We
easily forget, as humans, that we-just as the trees, the grass, the
flowers, and the water-are just a working part of nature. Just as an
apple tree needs water and sunlight and the right living conditions to
bear fruit, so do we. So
many of us have been or are currently in a creative rut. We get
stuck-we bear no fruit and become depressed, anxiety ridden and feel
there must be something utterly wrong with us. Well, there just
isn't. Every year trees shed all of their leaves and look desolate.
At the first site of an apple tree during the cold months, you might
believe it is useless, an eyesore, worthless. But no. The tree
naturally needs rest. The tree isn't stressing out that it didn't bear
fruit or write a good script, or finish that song, or meet that quota.
The tree just is. And so should we be. Sometimes our creative little
minds need a natural break. A time to shed its leaves, shut down and
prepare itself for the next season of 'bearing fruit'. Instead of
hating yourself and hating life during that time, you can take a moment
to nurture yourself. Create the right living conditions by clearing
clutter that can distract, meeting up with positive people who make you
feel good, eating good food that is good for you, resting when your
body calls for rest. Then, just be. It will come, naturally.
The paradox of our time in history is that we
have
taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways,
but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less,
we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and
smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We
have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but
less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more
medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too
recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too
angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray
too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our
values. We talk too much, love too seldom,
and hate
too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years
to life not life to years. We've
been all the way to the moon and back, but have
trouble crossing the street
to meet a new neighbor. We
conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done
larger things, but not better
things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've
conquered the atom, but not our
prejudice. We write
more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish
less. We've learned to rush, but not
to wait. We build
more computers to hold more information, to produce
more copies than ever, but we communicate
less and
less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion,
big men and small character,
steep profits and shallow
relationships. These are the days of two incomes but
more divorce, fancier houses, but
broken homes. These
are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway
morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and
pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet,
to
kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom
window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when
technology can bring this letter to you, and a time
when you can choose either to share this insight, or
to just
hit delete...
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones,
because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to
you in awe, because that little person soon will grow
up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you,
because that is the only
treasure you can give with
your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, 'I love you'
to your partner and
your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and
an embrace will mend hurt when it comes
from deep
inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for
someday that person will
not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time
to share the precious thoughts
in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but
by the moments that take our breath away.
my heart, my mind.
my fears left behind.
are peeled and torn.
my intentions are worn.
many tears have been shed.
each layer I dread.
how could it be?
you are still here with me?
You'd
think that someone who had put forth such an effort would be blessed to
enjoy a long life with this wonderful creature. April 30th, 2004, my
darling baby 'Jude' died due to an immune system reaction following a
routine "doing the right thing" vaccination. I was absolutely
devastated.
I seem to
follow this pattern in my life....I find something I want and I find
out the steps I need to take in order to get it and I follow,
precisely, those steps expecting only the best. Whether it be family
life, dog training, dating, healthy eating, exercising, managing
finances, learning an art, cooking a good meal...the list goes on and
on....you can't expect to follow a set of rules and have a promised
outcome. Frustrating, huh? Isn't this what we are taught in the
American education system as youngsters...."follow all the rules and
you'll be rewarded in return"? When I look toward all of those that I
hold in high esteem, like John Lennon, Robert Owen, Martin Luther King,
Jr., Nelson Mandela, Andy Kaufman, Aung San Suu Kyi...I think about how
much I admire their courage for 'doing it their way', as I remain in
this cold, uninspiring state...which is quickly getting me nowhere.
So,
maybe next time I'll blurt out exactly how I'm feeling, in the moment,
rather than hesitating for fear I may scare someone away. I suppose it
never hurts to try. How bad can it be?
This
is the update you are dreading: Miles' earthly body has left
us....early this morning. This is the day we've been dreading since
June of '05, but fearing it would come and now it has. We did
everything humanly possible to arrest this disease. Our efforts were
not enough. There are no interventions currently available that could
have produced a different outcome. Hardly a comfort. We were able to
buy time, and good time it was. Miles went from a boy-man to a man-boy.
At a cost that would knock your socks off, Miles still managed to pack
a wallop. He could not and would not be held back.....from living life
to the fullest. He so wanted (that it hurt) to taste the fruits of
freedom, of adulthood, of the world, and yet they were denied him. This
is the agony that has a grasp, a stranglehold, on our hearts. The irony
of his absence, when under ordinary circumstances he'd be gone now
anyhow - to college - has not escaped us.
Talk
about destiny, G-d's plan, purpose, anything you want, but the fact is
that our boy, our beloved son and brother, was snatched from us, and it
hurts. We knew it was coming, yet we're shocked. We knew it was coming,
yet we're unprepared. We knew it was coming, yet it feels unreal. We
knew it was coming, but we hate it.
Sunday
morning. Miles should be having pancakes with Nina right about now.
Instead, the three of us are wandering around wondering what to do with
ourselves. Pacing has become my specialty. We do have some plans in
place: a very small, immediate family only funeral; a big
memorial/celebration down the road to commerate Miles; and, a lot of
crying.
It is suggested that
those who wish to further honor the memory of Miles Levin do so by
making a contribution to, "UJF Miles Levin Fund", (address below), a
newly established tax exempt fund designed to support existing efforts
to combat pediatric cancer as well as providing our family a vehicle to
create new directions in patient care. Cards and expressions of
thoughts and feelings are always welcome. We ask that if you feel an
inclination to send food or flowers that you transfer that impulse to
our new fund; it would be more satisfying to us to know that honoring
Miles means helping another family.
At the moment, there is
little consolation for the serious war we fought when in the end, we
lost our warrior. We aren't ready to look at the legacy, the divinity,
the gift. We're grieving the loss of our child and brother. The best
advice I can offer anyone wanting to provide comfort is this view: this
stinks, plain and simple.
Nancy,
Jon, and Nina
UJF - Miles Alpern Levin Fund
P.O. Box 2030
Bloomfield Hills, MI 48303
Attn:
Susie Feldman

[ree-kree-ey-shuh
n] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
1.
the act
of creating anew.
2.
something created anew.
As
Miles is winding down his physical presence, I asked him to grant me
one final interview. He agreed, provided it was brief. Feeling excited
to again experience his grace, I took it, with that condition.
Q Miles, many people have asked, what exactly is your message. Could you state it succinctly?
A
People like to construe that every day is a blessing, and that's not
true. There's nothing wrong with having a bad day; they do happen. But
(what's important is) that there's enough good out there- even if you
have cancer or something terrible happens to you -you can still find
it.
Q What is the "it"?
A The goodness and worthwhileness of enduring the bad day....because the world has so much to offer.
Q What have you learned about life?
A That it's unpredictable.
Q What one thing stands out for you as something
you are grateful for?
A The relationships I have had with people - above all else. That's what endures.
Q What do you want people to think about you when they think
of Miles Levin?
A Someone
who maintained their light through their darkest journey.
Q What qualities in humans do you value the most?
A Kindness. I think it's one of the only things that helps everyone.
Q Anything else about
that?
A If there is
one thing that would make the world a better place, it's more kindness to all.
Q Miles, what does "kindness" look like?
A A general love for other people.
Q Can you say how that translates into action?
A Not really. (laugh)
Who is to say I'm right about any of this?
Q What advice would you give to parents on how to love their children?
A Tell parents they are not their children. They are raising new individuals
who are going to be different from then.
Q So, how should parents influence their children?
A It's a hard balance between controlling and permissiveness, and I don't know the answer.
If I had to say, I'd say, ask my mom, she accomplished it.
Q Is there anything you want to say about what's happening to you now?
A No, it's private, and I haven't
worked through it yet.
Q Anything else about anything?
A I'm pretty much feel done sharing. I would if I had the energy.

It
seems that the once unattractive, red flag of 'emotional
unavailability' has quite the contrary, become attractive to some. I
mean, why invest time and heart in someone who is willing to truly love
and care for you when you could just as easily jump around from one
good looking, selfish tool to the next, never having to connect with
anyone else's soul?
I
see that in a lot of cases, dating has become the epitome of having bad
credit. You have a low score because, well, your accounts have not been
active for any significant amount of time. You are 'broke' because
you've decided to live paycheck to paycheck, living off of high
interest 'credit cards' which give off a false sense of security. Had
you invested your money wisely, you'd be rich by now. But
unfortunately, you always fall short, because instead of looking toward
that rich return you'd have received had you made a good, solid
investment, you have chosen the 'instant gratification' route, the
'feel good right now' avenue, the 'shop til' I drop' approach, which
eventually just leaves your pockets empty. Yes, investments can be
shaky at times, but the way to 'win big' is to stick it out through the
rough patches. That is at least the way my financial manager has put it
to me in the past. And of course if you want a high yield investment,
the more you invest, the better.
How
many 'hot new cars' will you buy before realizing that 'hot new cars'
decrease in value significantly once you drive them off of the lot?
Maybe consider investing in a classic car instead, which will continue
to hold it's value due to being well built and respected among car
enthusiasts. Sure, they need a little work now and again, but with
regular maintenance they have the potential to run like new forever!
Many believe real estate is really the best investment there is. You
purchase a home, and though it is not an easy task, you settle in and
commit to fixing it up, piece by piece and maintaining it to the best
of your ability. Not only is it a good investment which will increase
in value year after year, it is your comfort zone, your sanctuary, the
place you can unwind and just be you. A place where love is safe to
exist.
We
all have a list of expectations we'd like a 'significant other' to live
up to, thinking we are being wisely prudent in our thinking, but what
it really all boils down to is this: Do we have chemistry? Do I enjoy
being around this person (and vice versa)? Am I willing to put up with
this person at their worst (and vice versa)? If the answer is 'yes' to all three of these questions, chances are you've got a pretty darned good investment
in front of you. Persevere through the rough times and the profit will be unfathomable.
LIVE.
I have some unfortunate news. It appears that my chemotherapy is no
longer effective in containing the growth of my cancer. We knew this
day would come from the moment I resumed chemotherapy treatment in
March; the response for relapsed Stage IV rhabdomyosarcoma is
ineludibly temporary. I'm flying to New York on July 5th for scans and most probably some form of investigational treatment (there are no
other chemotherapy options left). We're buying one-way tickets.
My mom told me today that I don't need to go ahead with any more
treatment if I don't want to. I want to. Mainly because life is the
most breathtakingly amazing thing I could ever imagine. If I can get
more of it, even just a couple more days or weeks or months, I'll fight
pretty hard for that. It's not that I have a particularly high opinion
of human or universal nature. While there is much good in the world, I
see plenty of cruelty and abhorrence, but the stunning beauty and
mystery of the experience in all its breadth and glory so profoundly
surpasses words that I'm just going to shut up and move on to the next
paragraph.
When Dr. Wexler told me I'd relapsed, so much hope collapsed in that
instant that I asked him why bother resuming toxic chemotherapy simply
to buy me more time. At my Cranbrook
graduation, he looked me in the eye and said, "This is why bother." Dr.
Wexler, this is the part where I admit that I was wrong and you were
right.
I will fight to the bitter end. However, we must stop struggling. It is
all but a certainty that I will never be cured of rhabdomyosarcoma. It
is possible that I will die within weeks, and very probably within the
coming months. Please don't tell me about someone you know who defied
the odds; I'm aware people have. I hope to. But I'm not counting on it.
Keep fighting; stop struggling. Because as long as we are feeling at
least physically and mentally decent, we will never want to leave.
There will always be things we'll wish we could do or could have done
differently. One day, written on the calendar in invisible ink, you
will die. When that future date becomes today, I guarantee you'll
wonder how the hell that happened. But once you accept it as part of
the territory, it doesn't sting quite as bad.
I feel relatively ready. I’m proud of myself, proud of my life, and
most proud of the story of my life. I say the story because it includes
everybody in it and all the goodness the has transpired, the courage
displayed by my family, the generosity of people like Bob Woodruff to have reached into my life—a busy and important man finding the time to call me from
Syria
during my chemo week. I am proud of the people my friends have become.
They’ve grown so tall. I am most proud of myself (to answer the
question) for my seeming ability to bring out the best in those around
me wherever I may go. What I’ve done, I believe, is what I’ve been sent
here to do.
Something has shifted. Everything is okay now. It’s okay because I am
okay with it. The goodness that my having and dying from cancer creates
in the lives of so many thousands of people overshadows and outweighs
any personal bad. I’m in escalating pain from the tumors but I hardly
mind. You know why?
This is my story and it’s not meant to be told any other
way.
All good things must end. When they do, sadness is unavoidable. This is
one of the core reasons why Buddhists believe life is suffering. Take a
romantic relationship, for example. While it can bring temporary
happiness, the end is inevitable and so is the suffering. So monks are
celibate. They’re totally right too. Love hurts. But there’s a “but,”
and it is this: it’s worth it.
Whatever it is, it’s going to end, and when it does, if you can say, “I enjoyed that,”
that’s as much as you can be given, so let that be enough.
June 27, 2007 at 10:09 AM EDT
I’ll start off this update by saying this: one of the gifts of dying
(with forewarning) as a teenager is that you are given some final good
days to really live life actively and fully. Fortunately, most will
never experience this firsthand, but if you did, you would know they
are some of the sweetest days lived by man. An elderly person diagnosed
with a terminal cancer is already too compromised to do half the things
a young person can do.
To give you a sense of the state of affairs in my body and in the Levin
household, I just brought a glass of water to my mom who is sick in
bed, not the other way around. My pain from the tumors is still
relatively mild, although I awake each morning with baited breath, as I
could start an avalanche of a decline any day. The point is, as of this
moment, I’m really not debilitatingly ill.
I began this update with a rather absurd statement, but tell me it
isn’t true. I said it to illustrate a point, and you can probably guess
which one. There’s always a bright side. I had to spend an entire day
getting blood transfusions on Monday, but I realized that Monday is the
best day of the week to have to waste on tranfusions because it's
already the worst day. I was lucky to have made it through a beautiful
weekend without hospital visit, and all of the Detroiters reading know
that Monday was pretty muggy anyway.
You might remember the June 2nd update in which I talked about the
weeks in approach to graduation, where, as the only graduate without a
college or life future, I felt pretty depressed, but then one day made
the willful (and ultimately, somewhat to my surprise, successful)
decision to resume a positive and grateful attitude. I’m grateful I can
say that that was the only period of depression throughout this
two-year battle. Depression, for obvious reasons, is common in cancer
patients, and I marvel at the strength it must take a depressed person
to press onwards through the chemotherapy treatments. As devastating as
each round was for me, my strong desire to live carried me through.
Anyway, I don’t believe positive thinking has the power to kill one
cancer cell, but I do believe in its importance when it comes to mental
health. In a passive sort of way, how we view the world around us
largely shapes itself, more as a product of inherent personality and
external situation. So it is important to remember that, as humans, our
perspective on a situation is not infinite; there will always be
elements and angles hidden from our eyes.
If we could look divinely at the world, we would be able to see some
good in or arising from nearly every situation, no matter how
apparently dismal or evil. Indeed, a situation of exclusive badness is
so rare that none of us will probably ever even hear of one in our
lifetime, if they even exist at all. So when something negative
happens, seek out the good. Take a moment and name a few benefits. I
promise you, if you can’t list one positive aspect, you aren’t thinking
very hard at all. And remember, what you are striving for is not to be
a Pollyanna, but balance.
~William
James
Each fresh insight makes you see the world a little differently.
Habits
are hard to break. We become addicted to our own ways of ritualizing
our day. Change your patterns. Drive the car to a park, or have a walk
to the train this morning. Go out in the garden to read the mail. Shake
up your day and you'll gain new impressions. 
Twenty
three months ago, I was diagnosed with stage IV rhabdomyosarcoma, a
rare pediatric muscle cancer affecting only 350 children a year. With
odds like that, and with a 20 percent chance of survival, I can only
deduce two possibilities about the universe: God's plan is evident in
every little shifting of the breeze, or it's totally random. I don't
see how there could be much middle ground.
I
remember my first chemo round, staring at the ceiling and trying not to
cry. The agony was stunning. I've long since learned to go ahead and
cry. How could this have happened? Yet as with anything that happens,
it happens, and then suddenly you find it has happened, and more things
keep continuing to happen. Chemotherapy has instilled in me a visceral
understanding that all bad things will pass in time ... but that all
good things will too.
I
set out on a 19-month course of treatment, chronicling the journey on
an online blog. Little did I know that my little Web site intended to
keep extended family and friends informed would find readers all across
the country and even the world, including such countries as Japan,
Australia, Germany, Brazil.
My journey
became our
journey, with treatment finishing last December. For a brief, hopeful
month in January, it appeared to have been successful. My scans were
clear. But, as is so common with cancer, there were still
sub-detectable rogue cells lurking in distant corners of my body.
Within weeks, they swarmed forth again and my body was infested once
more.
A
recurrence of my kind of cancer has been hitherto incurable, although I
still cling to a slim ray of hope. But in all likelihood, I am in the
last few months of my short life.
Unlike
many cancer patients, I don't have much anger. The way I see it, we're
not entitled to one breath of air. We did nothing to earn it, so
whatever we get is bonus. I might be more than a little disappointed
with the hand I've been dealt, but this is what it is. Thinking about
what it could be is pointless. It ought to be different, that's for
sure, but it ain't. A moment spent moping is a moment wasted.
I
accept what is to come, but I cannot rid myself of a deep mourning for
all those experiences -- college, marriage, children, grandchildren --
that will probably never be mine to celebrate. What solace I do find is
in the knowledge that I have done everything I can to transmute this
terribleness into something positive by showing as many people as I can
how to endure it with a smile.
I
don't believe you can ask for any more, but if I could ask for
something, it would be to be able to go outside into the glorious
spring air, feeling healthy and blissfully clueless as to how lucky I
was for it, if only just for an hour.
1.
the
quality or state of being strong; bodily or muscular power; vigor.
2.
mental power, force, or vigor.
3.
moral power, firmness, or courage.
4.
power by reason of influence, authority, resources,
numbers, etc.
5.
number, as of personnel or ships in a force or body: a regiment with a strength
of 3000.
6.
effective force, potency, or cogency, as of inducements or arguments: the strength
of his plea.
7.
power of resisting force, strain, wear, etc.
8.
vigor of action, language, feeling, etc.
9.
the effective or essential properties characteristic
of a beverage, chemical, or the like: The alcoholic strength of brandy far exceeds that of wine.
10.
a particular proportion or concentration of these properties; intensity, as of light, color, sound, flavor,
or odor: coffee of normal strength.
11.
something or someone that gives one strength or is
a source of power or encouragement; sustenance: The Bible was her strength and joy.
12.
Most of us are dependent on fossil fuels, which are causing havoc for our health,
wallets, environment, and future.
However, you can make a difference on a global level, by incorporating responsible practices daily.
Here
are the top 10 steps you can take to save money and energy, reduce
climate change emissions (CO2) and reliance on foreign oil, and improve
our air quality and quality of life.
1. Purchase green electricity; it’s easy and quick to do!
Contact
your electricity supplier, check their web site, or go to
www.green-e.org to learn about purchasing “clean electricity” and
support renewable energy production. Depending on your supplier, you
can pay a little bit more for clean renewable electricity or you can
purchase renewable energy certificates.
2. Replace incandescent light bulbs with compact fluorescent
energy-efficient light bulbs.
Compact
fluorescent bulbs use about one-fourth less electricity than
incandescent, reduce CO2 emissions, last 9,000+ hours longer than
incandescent bulbs, and offset approximately 1.5 tons of emissions per
household per year. They may cost more to buy, but save you money in
the long run.
3. Turn off your computer when done
and unplug appliances if not used often.
Save
money on electricity bills, reduce electricity consumption, and reduce
CO2 emissions. Most appliances and computers use electricity even when
“off.” In hot weather, an idling computer adds heat to a room, forcing
air conditioning to run longer and use even more electricity to lower
the temperature.
4. Choose Energy Star labeled appliances when purchasing new ones.
Save money on energy bills, reduce electricity consumption,
and reduce CO2 emissions.
5. Weatherize your home.
Seal
cracks in your home by weather stripping and caulking, and add
insulation to reduce heating and cooling bills, energy consumption, and
CO2 emissions. Many electricity and heating suppliers offer low cost
or free home energy audits to help you pinpoint areas that need
attention, and make the changes.
6. Install solar panels and/or a solar hot water heating system.
Invest in reducing energy
consumption by harnessing the power of the sun and reduce CO2 emissions.
7. Ask for a Green Home when purchasing,
renovating, or building a home.
It’s healthier and saves money on energy bills, reduces electricity consumption,
and reduces CO2 emissions.
8. Purchase a fuel-efficient automobile.
Save money on fuel and reduce CO2
emission concentrations.
9. Use alternate transportation.
Consider walking, biking, using public transit,
or an electric scooter before you drive.
10. Purchase locally grown organic food as often as possible.
Reduce CO2 emissions since the food travels a shorter distance to your plate, and buying organic assures that petroleum-based
fertilizers are not used.
Here’s a bonus…for the activist in you, whether bold or shy, this
is a great way to communicate your opinion!
Be active in your community, vote, and write letters.
Let
your voice be heard and your thoughts be known to your state and
federal representatives! You can make a difference by supporting the
installation of a clean renewable energy facility such as a wind
turbine, a biofueled facility, or landfill gas recovery facility in
your community.
Sources: nesea.org; ucsusa.org; uspirg.org; sierraclub.org; populationconnection.org
Good Things

I
walk alone, bag in hand, returning an item. The makeup I bought last
week was much too dark for my complexion. Who was I kidding? I must
have been lying to myself again. I swiftly walk to my destination, all
the while making eye contact with strangers, giving directions to a
tourist, giving a dollar to a needy person, left hand in pocket in a
feeble attempt to stay warm.
In
the store, I don't ask for help, I can help myself. Alone, I test out
different types of makeup until I find a match, a true match. I
exchange the goods, smiling and apologizing for the terrible
inconvenience I may have caused. The cashier smiles as he's made
another sale. I leave, same bag in hand. I walk alone.
A young,
Japanese couple stands on the corner holding each other tight. Not
waiting. Not crying. No reason. Just holding. I smile as I hope to one
day know someone that would feel that way about me, and the feeling
would be returned, unbridled. To be that carefree, to not worry what
the other may be thinking of this tender moment, to not worry that
people are trying to hurry around you…what a dream. Time stood still
for those two. I wonder if they know the effect they had on me?
I
walk alone. Making eye contact with strangers, smiling even though I
carry an aching, burdensome, emptiness inside that I cannot define. I
wonder if anyone notices. I wonder if anyone is outside of his or her
own head enough to feel it. I wonder if germs are to blame for disease.
I wonder if more 'peek-a-boo' should be added to my priority list. I
wonder if this makeup will look good on me or if I have deceived myself
once again. I walk alone.
My
home is small, I must admit, but there are many rooms inside for you to
explore. After years of work, I have had it completely re-wired. I did
it myself...by reading any book I could get my hands on dealing with
the subject. So any room you choose to visit is well lit, all you must
do is flip the switch. Each room is equipped with a dimmer...you have
the power to determine the amount of light you'd prefer in each
particular area. Want a little heat? Here's the switch, all you have to
do is set the temperature at your preference!
Help yourself to something to eat. I have food and drink a plenty. I have fruits and vegetables, meat
and potatoes. All you have to do is ask.
Head
into the library. Beautiful, isn't it? Stacked with books of every
genre, I'm sure you'll find something that sparks your interest. I've
got self-help books galore, spiritual books, an entire history section,
dating as far back as March of 1975. There are stories of loss, of
wins, of richer and poorer, of birth and death, of seeking and finding.
I've got novels which feature dreams being accomplished, families and
friends being reunited, of learning love. Some of the books have seen
their better days, so be extra careful with them...we wouldn't want
them to fall apart. You can enjoy each and every last book, if you'd
like. The only thing required of you is to sit down and read them. I'll
bring you a cup of tea, if you'd like. It may take some time to get
through them, but if you have the time, I'd love to share them with you.
I
love to show off my walk-in closets. You can walk in and grab anything
to wrap around you to keep you warm, protect you from the elements.
There are coats in every size. Go ahead, wrap a scarf around you. Don't
be embarrassed. Trust me, you'll feel much better once you put one on.
Check
out my entertainment room. Jazz, classical, classic rock, modern rock,
rhythm and blues, rap...the list goes on and on. Just turn it on. Not
only do I have a vast, eclectic music library, I possess a ton of
comedic material. So if you want a good laugh, just turn it on.
Don't
hesitate to take a dip in the pool. The water is warm...feel it. Let it
surround you, heal you, take away your aches and pains. It's funny, of
the people I've had over to visit, not many just jump right in. I watch
it over and over again, one toe in...take it out quickly! One toe in,
maybe a little more...take it out quickly! I think what people don't
realize is that if you'd just dive right in, despite fears, you'd see
that everything is just fine. It just is. I remember being afraid of
water...there were so many times I could have just enjoyed myself in
the moment instead of worrying about drowning, or not being able to get
out, or it being too cold, or even being exposed in my bathing suit.
I've learned to just dive in...and have fun. So what are you waiting
for?
My
bedroom is a sanctuary. I don't let too many people inside. I'll let
you take a look, because I believe I can trust you. You've come this
far, right?! It's a little cold right now, but if you'd like we can put
on a fire. The only thing required of you is to light it. I've got the
wood already in place. Here's a match...
So,
our tour is just about over. It's been fun. Not sure if you noticed my
little 'list of rules' hanging by the front door. It's simple, really,
but I like for my guests that plan to return to know the rules I put
forth. The rules are as follows:
1.
Respect my home inside and out.*
2. Respect me (I Am my Home)
*Being
respectful includes not stealing anything...if you want something, just
ask. That's what it's there for. Being respectful means trying not to
break anything. If you break something, pick it up. Repair it if you
can. If you can't, don't worry, I will forgive you. But if you continue
to break things in my house, I will have to question your motives and
decide whether or not those motives are allowed in my home again. Being
respectful also includes being open in communication. If you don't like
my roasted potatoes, tell me. That way I have the option to not make
them for you again or to ask for a suggestion on how to make them
better. If you like sweet tea, tell me, and I'll have a pitcher of it
filled each time you return. If you want to leave, so be it, but I'd
appreciate you finding me and telling me so that I know not to continue
looking for you in the wee hours of the night, keeping your wine glass
full. Being respectful means keeping the competition out. I don't want
to hear how the Petersons' house down the street is so much better than
mine. My home is my home, whether it has a shingle that needs repairing
or a light bulb changed. It is my home. It is all I have and have
worked hard for. It will NEVER be the Petersons' home, and if you don't
like it, go visit the Petersons'!!!

-Chogyam Trungpa (an excerpt from Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior)
![]()
Ever
think that holding on to your privacy could be selfish? Well, I have
begun to think of it that way. I have endured many hardships in the
nearly 32 years I have existed on this earth in this particular
lifetime. There are times when I want to share those things with the
world, hoping it might help some desperate soul to have hope that there
is light at the end of the tunnel. Yet, I have learned that as I build
new relationships, I feel compelled to hide those things. "What if I
frighten this person away?", "What if this person won't accept me once
they find this information out about my past?". Well, so what if I do?
The fact is, that is who I AM. I am unique, and more than 'just a
pretty face'. I have fought. I have conquered. I have persevered. I
have loved. I have lost. I have won. The Universe puts certain people
in our lives for a reason...there are lessons to be learned by
everyone. And if that lesson is taught in a month, a year, or even a
lifetime, one won't know until one 'jumps'.
(Page 22)
RESISTANCE AND PROCRASTINATION PART TWO
The most pernicious aspect of procrastination is that it can become a habit. We don't just put off our lives today;
we put them off till our deathbed.
Never
forget: This very moment, we can change our lives. There never was a
moment, and never will be, when we are without power to alter our
destiny. This second, we can turn the tables on Resistance.
This second, we can sit down and do our work.